When the Holidays Feel Heavy: Managing Depression and Anxiety

The Holidays Aren't Always Merry—And That's Okay

The holiday season is often painted as a time of joy, celebration, and togetherness. But for many people, this time of year brings up feelings of sadness, anxiety, loneliness, or overwhelm. If you're struggling right now, you're not alone—and there's nothing wrong with you.

Depression and anxiety don't take a holiday break. In fact, the pressures, expectations, and changes that come with this season can make them worse. Let's talk about why the holidays can be so hard and what you can do to take care of yourself.

Why the Holidays Can Trigger Depression and Anxiety

There are many reasons the holiday season can feel heavy:

1. Pressure to Be Happy
Everywhere you look, there are messages about joy, gratitude, and celebration. When you're struggling, this can make you feel even more isolated—like everyone else is happy except you. The pressure to "get into the spirit" can feel exhausting.

2. Financial Stress
Gift-giving, travel, hosting, and holiday expenses add up quickly. Financial strain is one of the biggest sources of holiday stress and can trigger or worsen anxiety and depression.

3. Family Dynamics
For some, family gatherings bring warmth and connection. For others, they bring tension, conflict, or painful reminders of strained relationships. If your family doesn't feel safe or supportive, the holidays can be especially difficult.

4. Grief and Loss
The holidays can amplify grief. Whether you've lost a loved one, experienced a breakup, or are mourning a life you thought you'd have, this season can make those losses feel more acute.

5. Disrupted Routines
Holiday schedules often disrupt the routines that help you stay grounded—regular sleep, exercise, healthy eating, therapy appointments. When your structure falls apart, your mental health can suffer.

6. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)
Shorter days and less sunlight can trigger Seasonal Affective Disorder, a type of depression that occurs during fall and winter. Combined with holiday stress, SAD can make this time of year particularly challenging.

7. Loneliness and Isolation
Not everyone has family or community to celebrate with. If you're spending the holidays alone—by choice or circumstance—feelings of loneliness can intensify.

If any of this resonates, please know: your feelings are valid. You're not broken, and you're not failing. You're human.

Gentle Ways to Care for Yourself This Season

You don't have to "fix" yourself or force happiness. But you can take small, compassionate steps to support your wellbeing:

1. Give Yourself Permission to Feel
You don't have to be happy just because it's the holidays. It's okay to feel sad, anxious, angry, or numb. Allow yourself to feel what you feel without judgment. Your emotions are messengers, not mistakes.

2. Set Boundaries
You don't owe anyone your presence, your energy, or your peace of mind. It's okay to:

• Skip events that drain you
• Limit time with difficult family members
• Say no to obligations that don't serve you
• Leave early if you need to

Protecting your mental health is not selfish—it's necessary.

3. Simplify Your Expectations
Let go of the idea that the holidays have to be perfect. You don't need elaborate decorations, expensive gifts, or picture-perfect gatherings. Simple is okay. Imperfect is okay. Doing less is okay.

4. Create Moments of Comfort and Peace
Small rituals can bring comfort during difficult times. Light a candle, make a warm drink, wrap yourself in a soft blanket. Our LAVA Spinning Heart Candle or String of Hearts Candle can create a calming atmosphere and serve as a gentle reminder to breathe and be present. Sometimes the smallest acts of self-care make the biggest difference.

5. Stick to Your Routines as Much as Possible
Try to maintain the habits that support your mental health:

• Regular sleep schedule
• Gentle movement or exercise
• Healthy meals
• Time for rest and solitude

Our Pilates program offers gentle, accessible movement that can help you stay grounded during chaotic times—no matter your fitness level or schedule.

6. Reach Out for Support
You don't have to go through this alone. Reach out to:

• A trusted friend or family member
• A therapist or counselor
• A support group or online community
• A crisis hotline if you're in distress

Our psychotherapy services provide compassionate, professional support for depression, anxiety, and seasonal struggles. Our group wellness programs also offer community and connection during difficult times.

7. Limit Social Media
Social media can amplify feelings of inadequacy and loneliness during the holidays. Everyone posts their highlight reel, not their reality. If scrolling makes you feel worse, take a break. Your mental health is more important than staying connected online.

8. Create New Traditions
If old traditions feel painful or empty, create new ones that feel meaningful to you. This might look like:

• A quiet evening with your favorite Brain Candle as a reminder of your mental health journey
• A day of rest and self-care
• Volunteering or helping others
• Spending time in nature
• Watching your favorite movies
• Cooking a meal you love

There's no right way to spend the holidays. Do what feels right for you.

9. Practice Gratitude—Gently
Gratitude can help, but it shouldn't be forced. If you can, notice small moments of beauty or comfort—a warm cup of tea, a kind word, a moment of peace. But if gratitude feels impossible right now, that's okay too. You don't have to be grateful to be worthy of care.

10. Move Your Body Gently
Movement can help ease anxiety and lift your mood, but it doesn't have to be intense. A short walk, gentle stretching, or a few minutes of mindful breathing can make a difference.

11. Seek Professional Help if You Need It
If your depression or anxiety feels unmanageable, please reach out for professional support. Therapy, medication, or a combination of both can help. There's no shame in needing help—it's a sign of strength, not weakness.

Our life coaching services can also help you navigate difficult seasons, set boundaries, and create a life that feels more aligned with your needs.

When to Seek Immediate Help

If you're experiencing thoughts of self-harm or suicide, please reach out for help immediately:

• Contact a crisis hotline in your country
• Go to your nearest emergency room
• Call a trusted friend or family member
• Text a crisis support line

You matter. Your life matters. And help is available.

A Gentle Reminder

The holidays don't define your worth. Your struggle doesn't make you weak. And you don't have to pretend to be okay when you're not.

It's okay to:

• Not be festive
• Skip celebrations
• Feel sad while others feel joyful
• Take care of yourself first
• Ask for help

You're doing the best you can. And that's enough.

We're Here to Support You

At LAVA, we understand that wellness isn't about forced positivity—it's about meeting yourself with compassion, exactly as you are. Whether you need:

• One-on-one support tailored to your needs
• Community and connection through group programs
• Ongoing resources and guidance through our memberships
• Professional therapy for depression and anxiety

We're here. You don't have to navigate this season alone.

Take care of yourself. Be gentle with yourself. And remember—this season will pass. You will get through this.